reason prevails

longer post later....but for now, let me just say that things could certainly have gone much worse. the comments made during the hearing were kept quite specifically confined to the serious allegations made against me. i was given a fair amount of time to address those accusations and i think it was obvious that i was attempting to be both open and honest during the hearing. i don't know if my actions in court today made any real difference in the outcome or not, though i'd like to think i handled myself fairly well, despite being very nervous, and that that made a difference. the ducks may have an easy time remaining calm on the surface while paddling like hell underneath, but fighting your own autonomic response system for control is pretty challenging.

thanks very much to my sisters, and Jason, and Dad for coming, and to Mom for suggesting he attend. all offered to come unbidden, and your support is much appreciated. thanks also to Jason for moving my truck before i got a parking ticket, and for the much-needed cigarette on the walk back to where we were now both parked. and thanks to Cole for just adding a little random positive energy into the afternoon!

thanks also to all in my extended family for the relative flood of well wishes (pun intended....or, more precisely, not originally intended, but duly noticed and included). also much appreciated!

while i'm thanking everyone, let me not forget whomever is responsible for the fantastic reproductions of historical documents on the wall of the court building. i had the opportunity, in the time before the hearing, to read in their entirety the four neatly handwritten pages of Lincoln's (relatively short) second inaugural address (click here to read it yourself). it's a particularly clear, concise and well worded speech, with certain themes which struck me as applicable to many people's reasons for being in court on any particular day.

reading it enabled me to focus on something besides my nerves, for a short time, and by sheer happenstance served as an apt reminder of the manner in which i hoped to conduct myself. perhaps someone much brighter than me understood these things when they chose to include it in the design of the building interior.

more later. time to make a phone call.